Age Factor
AGE GAP BETWEEN PROSPECTIVE COUPLES
“Another cause of the deficiency of the present generation in physical strength and moral worth, is the union of men and women in marriage whose ages widely differ. It is frequently the case that old men choose to marry young wives. By thus doing the life of the husband has often been prolonged, while the wife has had to feel the want of that vitality which she has imparted to her aged husband. It has not been the duty of any woman to sacrifice life and health, even if she did love one so much older than herself, and felt willing on her part to make such a sacrifice. She should have restrained her affections. She had considerations higher than her own interest to consult. She should consider, if children were born to them, what their condition would be. It is still worse for young men to marry women considerably older than themselves. The offspring of such unions in many cases, where ages widely differ, have not well-balanced minds. They have been deficient also in physical strength. In such families, varied, peculiar, and often painful, traits of character have frequently been manifested. The children often die pre-maturely, and those who reach maturity, in many cases, are deficient in physical and mental strength, and moral worth.
The father is seldom prepared, with his failing faculties, to properly bring up his young family. These children have peculiar traits of character, which constantly need a counteracting influence, or they will go to certain ruin. They are not educated aright. Their discipline has too often been of the fitful, impulsive kind, by reason of his age. The father has been susceptible of changeable feelings. At one time over-indulgent, while at another he is unwarrantably severe. Everything in such families is wrong, and domestic wretchedness is greatly increased. Thus a class of beings have been thrown upon the world as a burden to society (A SOLEMN APPEAL, pp. 108 -9).”
“The two parties may not have worldly wealth, but they should have the far greatest blessing of health. And in most cases there should not be a great disparity in age. A neglect of this rule may result in seriously impairing the life of the younger (MINISTRY OF HEALING, p.358).”
Mrs. White’s counsel on age gap is significantly a question of consideration stemming from circumstances and conditions that could result in endangerment of health of the couples and of the health and morality of their offspring.
The Optimum Age Difference
The Bible is completely silent regarding this subject; however, we do know that Abraham was ten years older than Sarah. “Then Abraham fell upon his face, and laughed, and said in his heart, Shall a child be born unto him that is an hundred years old? and shall Sarah, that is ninety years old, bear (Genesis 17:17)?”
We also know, for example, that one of Mrs. White’s sons Willie was 19 years older than his wife Ethel May Lacey. Willie was 40 and May 21 when they married. Describing the wedding to Willie’s brother Edson and wife Emma, Mrs. White writes, “All, every member of the family, dote on May, and they feel highly honored to take in Willie to their family circle. They all highly esteem Willie. He is 40 years old and May is 21 (4BIO 195.3).” They were married in 1895 (4BIO 195.3); 25 years after Mrs. White gave the counsel regarding age factor between married or prospective couples.
Moreover, we also know that Edson and his wife Emma were age mates. They were both 21 when they married (2BIO 310.1). Further more, one of the unions that Mrs. White acknowledged and blessed is of Mabel to Wilfred Workman, whose age difference was 7. “Mabel was 19 and Wilfred 26 (6BIO 115.6).”
Thus, from the passages above we can infer that it seems typical for men to marry younger wives than themselves, and that it is however not objectionable for men to marry women older than themselves. But, as advised, there should be no wide age difference. Moreover, we learn that age mates can marry without objection to their age. We in addition discover that, in the case where the man is older than his fiancée, in the light we have so far, the age gap ranging from 0 – 20 (zero to twenty) is not objectionable.
Sources you may like to see:
“What Is the Best Age Difference for Husband and Wife?”
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=what-is-the-best-age-difference-for-husband-and-wife
“Married Couples by Difference in Ages Between Husband and Wife: 1999”
http://www.allcountries.org/uscensus/56_married_couples_by_differences_in_ages.html
REFERENCES:
1. A Solemn Appeal, pp. 108-9
2. Ministry Of Healing, p. 358
3. 2BIO— (Biographical Books) Ellen G. White Volume 2 The Progressive Years 1862-1876, Arthur L. White (1986), p. 310
4. 4BIO— (Biographical Books) Ellen G. White Volume 4 The Australian Years 1891-1900, Arthur L. White (1983), p. 195
5. 6BIO— (Biographical Books) Ellen G. White Volume 6 The Later Elmshaven Years 1905-1915, Arthur L. White (1982), p. 115
